The collection of all best messages at one place: December 2014

Wednesday, 10 December 2014

Santa's SWOT Analysis on his resume

Santa's SWOT Analysis on his resume :-
1⃣ Strength - My Wife Manjeet.
2⃣ Weakness - Banta's wife Manpreet.
3⃣ Opportunity - When Banta is on Tour.
4⃣ Threat - When I'm on Tour. 

Height of irresponsibility

My Wi-Fi suddenly stopped working. Then I learnt that my neighbors haven't paid the bill.
.
..
...
How irresponsible they are!😎😆😆

#hemant #kurmi #hemant #kurmi #hemant #kurmi #hemant #kurmi#hemant #kurmi #hemant #kurmi#hemant #kurmi #hemant #kurmi#hemant #kurmi #hemant #kurmi#hemant #kurmi #hemant #kurmi#hemant #kurmi #hemant #kurmi#hemant #kurmi #hemant #kurmi#hemant #kurmi #hemant #kurmi#hemant #kurmi #hemant #kurmi#hemant #kurmi #hemant #kurmi#hemant #kurmi #hemant #kurmi#hemant #kurmi #hemant #kurmi#hemant #kurmi #hemant #kurmi#hemant #kurmi #hemant #kurmi#hemant #kurmi #hemant #kurmi#hemant #kurmi #hemant #kurmi#hemant #kurmi #hemant #kurmi#hemant #kurmi #hemant #kurmi#hemant #kurmi #hemant #kurmi#hemant #kurmi #hemant #kurmi#hemant #kurmi #hemant #kurmi#hemant #kurmi #hemant #kurmi#hemant #kurmi #hemant #kurmi#hemant #kurmi #hemant #kurmi#hemant #kurmi #hemant #kurmi#hemant #kurmi #hemant #kurmi#hemant #kurmi #hemant #kurmi#hemant #kurmi #hemant #kurmi#hemant #kurmi #hemant #kurmi#hemant #kurmi #hemant #kurmi#hemant #kurmi #hemant #kurmi#hemant #kurmi #hemant #kurmi#hemant #kurmi #hemant #kurmi#hemant #kurmi #hemant #kurmi#hemant #kurmi #hemant #kurmi#hemant #kurmi #hemant #kurmi#hemant #kurmi #hemant #kurmi#hemant #kurmi #hemant #kurmi#hemant #kurmi #hemant #kurmi#hemant #kurmi #hemant #kurmi#hemant #kurmi #hemant #kurmi#hemant #kurmi #hemant #kurmi#hemant #kurmi #hemant #kurmi#hemant #kurmi #hemant #kurmi#hemant #kurmi #hemant #kurmi#hemant #kurmi #hemant #kurmi#hemant #kurmi #hemant #kurmi#hemant #kurmi #hemant #kurmi#hemant #kurmi #hemant #kurmi#hemant #kurmi #hemant #kurmi#hemant #kurmi #hemant #kurmi#hemant #kurmi #hemant #kurmi#hemant #kurmi #hemant #kurmi#hemant #kurmi #hemant #kurmi#hemant #kurmi #hemant #kurmi#hemant #kurmi #hemant #kurmi#hemant #kurmi #hemant #kurmi#hemant #kurmi #hemant #kurmi#hemant #kurmi #hemant #kurmi#hemant #kurmi #hemant #kurmi#hemant #kurmi #hemant #kurmi#hemant #kurmi #hemant #kurmi#hemant #kurmi #hemant #kurmi#hemant #kurmi #hemant #kurmi#hemant #kurmi #hemant #kurmi#hemant #kurmi #hemant #kurmi#hemant #kurmi #hemant #kurmi#hemant #kurmi #hemant #kurmi#hemant #kurmi #hemant #kurmi#hemant #kurmi #hemant #kurmi#hemant #kurmi #hemant #kurmi#hemant #kurmi #hemant #kurmi#hemant #kurmi #hemant #kurmi#hemant #kurmi #hemant #kurmi#hemant #kurmi #hemant #kurmi#hemant #kurmi #hemant #kurmi#hemant #kurmi #hemant #kurmi#hemant #kurmi #hemant #kurmi#hemant #kurmi #hemant #kurmi#hemant #kurmi #hemant #kurmi#hemant #kurmi #hemant #kurmi#hemant #kurmi #hemant #kurmi#hemant #kurmi #hemant #kurmi#hemant #kurmi #hemant #kurmi#hemant #kurmi #hemant #kurmi#hemant #kurmi #hemant #kurmi#hemant #kurmi #hemant #kurmi#hemant #kurmi #hemant #kurmi#hemant #kurmi #hemant #kurmi#hemant #kurmi #hemant #kurmi#hemant #kurmi #hemant #kurmi#hemant #kurmi #hemant #kurmi#hemant #kurmi #hemant #kurmi#hemant #kurmi #hemant #kurmi#hemant #kurmi #hemant #kurmi#hemant #kurmi #hemant #kurmi#hemant #kurmi #hemant #kurmi#hemant #kurmi #hemant #kurmi#hemant #kurmi #hemant #kurmi#hemant #kurmi #hemant #kurmi#hemant #kurmi #hemant #kurmi#hemant #kurmi #hemant #kurmi#hemant #kurmi #hemant #kurmi#hemant #kurmi #hemant #kurmi#hemant #kurmi #hemant #kurmi#hemant #kurmi #hemant #kurmi#hemant #kurmi #hemant #kurmi#hemant #kurmi #hemant #kurmi#hemant #kurmi #hemant #kurmi#hemant #kurmi #hemant #kurmi#hemant #kurmi #hemant #kurmi#hemant #kurmi #hemant #kurmi#hemant #kurmi #hemant #kurmi#hemant #kurmi #hemant #kurmi#hemant #kurmi #hemant #kurmi#hemant #kurmi #hemant #kurmi#hemant #kurmi #hemant #kurmi#hemant #kurmi #hemant #kurmi#hemant #kurmi #hemant #kurmi#hemant #kurmi #hemant #kurmi#hemant #kurmi #hemant #kurmi#hemant #kurmi #hemant #kurmi#hemant #kurmi #hemant #kurmi#hemant #kurmi #hemant #kurmi#hemant #kurmi #hemant #kurmi#hemant #kurmi #hemant #kurmi#hemant #kurmi #hemant #kurmi#hemant #kurmi #hemant #kurmi#hemant #kurmi #hemant #kurmi#hemant #kurmi #hemant #kurmi#hemant #kurmi #hemant #kurmi#hemant #kurmi #hemant #kurmi#hemant #kurmi #hemant #kurmi#hemant #kurmi #hemant #kurmi#hemant #kurmi #hemant #kurmi#hemant #kurmi #hemant #kurmi#hemant #kurmi #hemant #kurmi#hemant #kurmi #hemant #kurmi#hemant #kurmi #hemant #kurmi#hemant #kurmi #hemant #kurmi#hemant #kurmi #hemant #kurmi#hemant #kurmi #hemant #kurmi#hemant #kurmi #hemant #kurmi#hemant #kurmi #hemant #kurmi#hemant #kurmi #hemant #kurmi#hemant #kurmi #hemant #kurmi#hemant #kurmi #hemant #kurmi#hemant #kurmi #hemant #kurmi#hemant #kurmi #hemant #kurmi#hemant #kurmi #hemant #kurmi#hemant #kurmi #hemant #kurmi#hemant #kurmi #hemant #kurmi#hemant #kurmi #hemant #kurmi#hemant #kurmi #hemant #kurmi

Sunday, 7 December 2014

INSTALLING HUSBAND AND UPDATING IT

A Woman writes to the IT Technical Support Guy

Dear Tech Support,

Last year I Upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and I noticed a Distinct Slowdown in the overall System Performance, particularly in the Flower and Jewellery Applications, which Operated Flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 Uninstalled another Valuable Program, Romance 9.5 and then Installed undesirable Programs such as NEWS 5.0, MONEY 3.0 and CRICKET 4.1

What can I do ?

Reply:-

Dear Madam,

First, keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an Operating System.

Please enter Command: "ithoughtyoulovedme.html" and try to Download Tears 6.2. Then it will automatically run the Applications Jewellery 3.0 and Flowers 3.5

However, remember, Overuse of the above Application can cause Husband 1.0 to Default to Silence 3.5 or Beer 6.1.

Also DO NOT disturb the original Package of Husband 1.0.... Otherwise new Virus Girlfriend 2.5 automatically be Downloaded into your System.

So be careful. In addition, please do not attempt to Re-install the Boyfriend 5.0 Program. These are Unsupported Applications and will Crash Husband 1.0.

We recommend: Cooking 5.0 and Hot Looks 7.7

Good Luck Madam.

Language that rocks Mumbai and is understood only in Mumbai

Language that rocks Mumbai and is understood only in

Mumbai.....

1. There's a minor problem -
Arre yaar, "Waanda" ho gaya

2. There's a big problem -
Arre yaar, "Jhol" ho gaya

3. There's a huge problem..(unsolvable) -
Arre yaar,"Raada" ho Gaya

4. You'll be surprised -
Ekdam "Hill " jayega tu

5. I am going out of this place -
Chal apun "Kaltii" marta hai.

6. Don't make a fool of others -
Dekh , tu "Shendi" mat laga sabko

7. Just get out of here,you oversmart fool!! -
Chal e shane, "Hawa"aan de

8. I am not a stupid out here -
Apun kya "ALIBAUG" se nahi aaya

9. There's some misunderstanding -
Arre kuch "Galat Faimili" ho gayi

10. Do u drink daily? -
Tu kya roz "FULL TO" hota hai?

11. See, You are afraid.. -
Dekh , teri to "FAT" gayi

12. Shall I bash u? -
E Du kya "Kharcha Pani" ?

13. Just take him into a secret place -
Use jara "Khopche" me leke ja

14. What a beautiful lady !! -
Kya "Zakaas Item" hai yaar!!

15. Don't just bluff. -
E Jyaada "RAAG" mat de..

16. Don't take much tension.. -
Jyaada "LOAD" nahi leneka kya??

17. Your clothes are very awkward!! -
Kya "ZAGMAG-- DHINKCHAAK"
pehna tune?

18. I don't care about it much..!! -
Abe yaar , "Hata Saawan Ki Ghata"

19. Please don't bore me... -
Jyaada "PAKAA" mat be tu

20. All this be done without anyone's notice -
Sab kaam "SUUMDI" me hona chahiye...kya?

21- unnecessarily interfering -
oongli karne mein bahoot mazaa aata hai kya ?

22- someone expired -
woh tapak gaya

Mumbaikars would b having a smile on their face after
reading this ...!!!

Even i got a smile on my face....
Share it guys
Proud to b a citizen of mumbai

Beauty and Brains never go together

Beauty and Brains never go together..

Here's how it's exhibited..

A woman entered a auto workshop and asked for a 'seven-hundred- ten'.
😀
All looked at each other, and the mechanic asked, "What is a seven-hundred- ten?"

She replied, "You know, the little piece in the middle of the engine. I lost it and need a new one. It had always been there."

The mechanic gave the woman a piece of paper and a pen and asked her to draw what the piece looked like. She drew a circle and in the middle of it wrote 710 !!

The mechanic was clueless, all other workers one by one took the paper and tried to figure out, but none could understand it. Finally the mechanic took the lady over to another car which had the hood up and asked, "Is there a 710 on this car?"

She pointed and said, "Of course, it's right there."

mechanic fainted, yet not recovered from shock !!
😇
Now go to the photo below to learn what a 710 is...