Showing posts with label
Hi-tech salespeople Dictionary and salesmen jokes..
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Showing posts with label
Hi-tech salespeople Dictionary and salesmen jokes..
Show all posts
Software engg:- baba mujhe hamesa null pointer aata hai
Nirmal Baba: facebook kab se nahi kholi
Software engg:- BABa time nahi milta bahut busy rahta hu
Nirmal Baba: jao profile pic change karo aur kuch is blog ko like karo kripa hone lagegi Asirwaad.
Modi ji:- baba ye mujh pe se case kab khatam hoge
Nirmal Baba: kabhi jeans t shirt pahni hai
modi ji: nahi baba
Nirmal Baba: jao jeans t shirt pahno kripa hone lagegi
Pretty Zinta : baba meri IPL Team haar rahi hai kya karun???
Nirmal Baba: jhappiyan dete ho players ko???
Preity Zinta: han baba
Nirmal Baba: apne players ko dena band karo opposite team walo ko dena
shuru karo Kripa ho jaegi
Kejriwaal-> Baba mere dharne mai ab dam nahi raha
Nirmal Baba: accha tum tpoi kis color ki pahnte ho
Kejriwaal-> baba white
Nirmal Baba: aur dharne mai kya khate ho
Kejriwaal-> baba mai apple leta hu
Nirmal Baba: jao yellow topi pahno aur mango(AAM) khao kripa hone lagegi
Superman: baba ji badi dikkatme hu udne me puri energy khatam ho jati h
Nirmal Baba: chaddi kab se ni badli.
Superman: ek hafte pehle badli thi.
Nirmal Baba: din me ya raat me
Superman: raat me
Nirmal Baba: roj dophar me badlo kripa hogii
Bhakt : Baba Ji Ladki Nahi Pat Rahi..!!
Nirmal Baba : Last Time Ladki Kab Aur Kaha Dekhi..?
Bhakt : Baba Ji, Aaj Subah Mohalle Mein Dekhi..!!
Nirmal Baba : Bas Yahi SeKripa Ruki Huyi Hai, Aisa Hai Ki, Kal Se
Maholle Ke Bahar Bhi Mu Maaro..!!
Kripa Aani Shuru Ho Jayegi..!!
Aashirwad
Hemant
A traveling salesman was held up by a bad storm in the Hawaiian Islands. He sent an e-mail to his corporate headquarters advising them that he was stranded for a few days and requested instructions.The reply came back shortly: "Begin vacation as of yesterday."
The Dictionary: What hi-tech salespeople say and what they mean by it:
1. New: Different color from previous design.
2. All New: Parts not interchangeable with previous design.
3. Designed Simplicity: Manufacturer's cost cut to the bone.
4. Unmatched: Almost as good as the competition.
5. Foolproof Operation: No provision for adjustments.
6. Advanced Design: The advertising agency does not understand it.
7. Field-tested: Manufacturer lacks test equipment.
8. Direct Sales Only: Factory had big argument with distributor.
9. Years of Development: We finally got one that works.
10. Revolutionary: It's different from our competitors.
11. Breakthrough: We finally figured out a way to sell it.
12. Improved: Did not work the first time.
13. Futuristic: No other reason why it looks the way it does.
14. Distinctive: A different shape and color than the others.
15. Redesigned: Previous faults corrected, we hope.
16. Handcrafted: Assembly machines operated without gloves on.
17. Performance Proven: Will operate through the warranty period.
18. Meets all Standards: Ours - not yours.
19. Broadcast Quality: Gives a picture and produces noise.
20. High Reliability: We made it work long enough to ship it.
21. New Generation: Old design failed; maybe this one will work.
22. Unprecedented Performance: Nothing we ever had before worked this way.
23. Built to Precision Tolerances: We finally got it to fit together.
24. Microprocessor Controlled: Does things we can't explain.
"Is your mother home?" the salesman asked a small boy sitting on the steps in front of a house. "Yeah, shes home," the boy said, scooting over to let him past. The salesman rang the doorbell, got no response, knocked once, then again. Still no one came to the door. Turning to the boy, the fellow said, "I thought you said your mother was home." The kid replied, "She is; but this isnt where I live.
A salesman who was out on his territory had a heart attack in his motel room and died. The motel manager called the salesmans company and related the tragedy to the sales manager.The sales manager received the news in a nonchalant manner and told the motel manager, "Return his samples by freight and search his pants for orders."
