FUNNY INTERVIEW- jokes

Officer : What Is Your Name ?
Candidate : M P. Sir
Officer : Tell Me Properly
Candidate : Mohan Pal Sir

Officer : Your Father's Name ?
Candidate : M P. Sir
Officer : What Does That Mean ?
Candidate : Manmohan Pal Sir

Officer : Your Native Place
Candidate : M P. Sir
Officer : Is It Madhya Pradesh ?
Candidate : No, Munnur Pal Sir

Officer : What Is Your Qualification?
Candidate : M P. Sir
Officer : (Angrily) What Is It ?
Candidate : Metric Pass

Officer : Why Do You Need A Job ?
Candidate : M P. Sir
Officer : And What Does That Mean ?
Candidate : Money Problem Sir

Officer : Describe Your Personality
Candidate : M P. Sir
Officer : Explain Yourself Clearly
Candidate : Mind-blowing Personality Sir

Officer : This Discussion Is Now over, You May Go
Now
Candidate : M P. Sir
Officer : What Is It Now
Candidate : My Performance....?

Officer : Mp !!!
Candidate : What Is That Sir..?
Officer : Mentally Punctured.
Candidate: M P Sir...(my pleasure)


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Hi-tech salespeople Dictionary and salesmen jokes.

Hemant
A traveling salesman was held up by a bad storm in the Hawaiian Islands. He sent an e-mail to his corporate headquarters advising them that he was stranded for a few days and requested instructions.The reply came back shortly: "Begin vacation as of yesterday."

The Dictionary: What hi-tech salespeople say and what they mean by it:

1. New: Different color from previous design. 

2. All New: Parts not interchangeable with previous design.

3. Designed Simplicity: Manufacturer's cost cut to the bone.

4. Unmatched: Almost as good as the competition. 

5. Foolproof Operation: No provision for adjustments. 

6. Advanced Design: The advertising agency does not understand it. 

7. Field-tested: Manufacturer lacks test equipment. 

8. Direct Sales Only: Factory had big argument with distributor. 

9. Years of Development: We finally got one that works. 

10. Revolutionary: It's different from our competitors. 

11. Breakthrough: We finally figured out a way to sell it. 

12. Improved: Did not work the first time. 

13. Futuristic: No other reason why it looks the way it does. 

14. Distinctive: A different shape and color than the others. 

15. Redesigned: Previous faults corrected, we hope. 

16. Handcrafted: Assembly machines operated without gloves on. 

17. Performance Proven: Will operate through the warranty period. 

18. Meets all Standards: Ours - not yours. 

19. Broadcast Quality: Gives a picture and produces noise. 

20. High Reliability: We made it work long enough to ship it. 

21. New Generation: Old design failed; maybe this one will work. 

22. Unprecedented Performance: Nothing we ever had before worked this way. 

23. Built to Precision Tolerances: We finally got it to fit together. 

24. Microprocessor Controlled: Does things we can't explain.


"Is your mother home?" the salesman asked a small boy sitting on the steps in front of a house. "Yeah, shes home," the boy said, scooting over to let him past. The salesman rang the doorbell, got no response, knocked once, then again. Still no one came to the door. Turning to the boy, the fellow said, "I thought you said your mother was home." The kid replied, "She is; but this isnt where I live.

A salesman who was out on his territory had a heart attack in his motel room and died. The motel manager called the salesmans company and related the tragedy to the sales manager.The sales manager received the news in a nonchalant manner and told the motel manager, "Return his samples by freight and search his pants for orders."

Puzzle Messages and jokes.

k
k

LOOK 30 SEC ON X MARK INT THE EYE OF SKULL AND THEN LOOK AT THE WALL OF SHEET OF PAPER

COMMENT IF YOU FINDS A SKULL AND ALSO CHECK BY INCREASING DISTANCE



This puzzle is called Lateral Thinking.. Just Check It Out!

Scroll down slowly and be honest to yourself. Think like a wizard;
      man
1. ------------
     board


Ans. =man overboard

Okay, let's see if you've got the hang of it.

      stand
2. ------------
        i


Ans. = I understand

OK . .Got the drift ?Let's try a few now and see how you fare ?

3. /r/e/a/d/i/n/g/


Ans. = reading between the lines

      R
4. Road
      A
      D



Ans. = cross road

Not having a good day now, are you ?Redeem yourself.

5. cyclecyclecycle

Ans. = tricycle
Easy to figure out, ha!


          0
6._________
    M.D.Ph.D.

Ans. = two degrees below zero

C'mon give it a little thought ! !


      knee
7. ------------
      light




Ans. = neon light ( knee - on - light )

I'm sure you'll have no problem getting this one.

    ground
8. ----- ----------
feet feet feet feet feet feet




Ans. = six feet underground

Good One, try this!!

9. he's / himself




Ans. = he's by himself

Here's an easy one!!

10. ecnalg




Ans. = backward glance

Not even close ?!!?

11. death ..... life




Ans. = life after death

Okay last chance .

12. THINK





Ans. = think big ! !

And the last one is very funny- - -


13. Ababaaabbbbaaaabbbbababaabbaaabbbb..

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Long time no C

What is black when you buy it,

Red when you are using it,

And grey when you throw it away?

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Answer is : Charcoal

?A? ki Biwi ?B?,

?B? ki Bhabhi ?C?,

?C? ki beti ?V?,

?V? ka dada ?G?

?G? ki biwi ?K?,

?K? ki beti ?T?,

To batao ?A? or ?T? ka kya rishta ha ???

Answer= Husband nd Wife

Birthday Problem

1 aadami apani har birthday pe ek rupiya jama karata hai jab wo 60vi birthday pe khzana todata hai to us mai 15rupaye hoty hain..Q??

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His birthday comes on 29 Feb.