Student Teacher ever best jokes

Chintu failed in Exam & decided to

make a deal

with professor.

Chintu: Sir, Can I ask u one que?

. Prof: Yes.

Chintu: If u can answer dis question, i

will

accept my final marks, if u cant, u

have to give me "A"

Professor agreed.

..

Chintu asked: "What is legal but not

logical,

logical but not legal & neither legal

nor logical?"

Prof thought about it for hrs & pondered no

answer.

.

He had to finally give up as he really

didnot

know.

.

He gave the boy his "A"

The following day, professor asked

same

question to his students

He was shocked when all of them

raised their

hands.

He asked one student.

He answered:

Sir, u are 65, married to 28 yrs old

woman, dis

is legal but not logical.

Ur wife, is having an affair with a 23

year old

boy, dis is logical but not legal

Ur wife's boyfriend has failed in his exam &yet u

have given him an "A", dis is neither

logical nor

legal.

Professor behosh....

Teacher: You copied from Fred's exam paper didn't you ?
Pupil: How did you know ?
Teacher: Fred's paper says "I don't know" and you have put "Me, neither"!

Teacher: Could you please pay a little attention here?
Student: yes mam, I am paying as little attention as i can. !!

Father to son: How did you write your exam?
.
Son: They had asked questions which I didn't know, so I wrote answer which they will not know



1st year students of M.B.B.S were attending their 1st practical class. 

They all gathered around the surgery table with a real dead dog.
The Professor put his finger in dog's ass & tasted it in his own mouth.
Then he told them to do the same...
The students hesitated for several Minutes,
but eventually everyone inserted their finger
in the dog's ass & tasted it. 

When everyone finished, the professor looked at them & said :
" The most important thing is " OBSERVATION "
I inserted my middle finger 
but tasted the index finger !


Now learn to " PAY ATTENTION "=))

Puzzle Messages and jokes.

k
k

LOOK 30 SEC ON X MARK INT THE EYE OF SKULL AND THEN LOOK AT THE WALL OF SHEET OF PAPER

COMMENT IF YOU FINDS A SKULL AND ALSO CHECK BY INCREASING DISTANCE



This puzzle is called Lateral Thinking.. Just Check It Out!

Scroll down slowly and be honest to yourself. Think like a wizard;
      man
1. ------------
     board


Ans. =man overboard

Okay, let's see if you've got the hang of it.

      stand
2. ------------
        i


Ans. = I understand

OK . .Got the drift ?Let's try a few now and see how you fare ?

3. /r/e/a/d/i/n/g/


Ans. = reading between the lines

      R
4. Road
      A
      D



Ans. = cross road

Not having a good day now, are you ?Redeem yourself.

5. cyclecyclecycle

Ans. = tricycle
Easy to figure out, ha!


          0
6._________
    M.D.Ph.D.

Ans. = two degrees below zero

C'mon give it a little thought ! !


      knee
7. ------------
      light




Ans. = neon light ( knee - on - light )

I'm sure you'll have no problem getting this one.

    ground
8. ----- ----------
feet feet feet feet feet feet




Ans. = six feet underground

Good One, try this!!

9. he's / himself




Ans. = he's by himself

Here's an easy one!!

10. ecnalg




Ans. = backward glance

Not even close ?!!?

11. death ..... life




Ans. = life after death

Okay last chance .

12. THINK





Ans. = think big ! !

And the last one is very funny- - -


13. Ababaaabbbbaaaabbbbababaabbaaabbbb..

.

Long time no C

What is black when you buy it,

Red when you are using it,

And grey when you throw it away?

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Answer is : Charcoal

?A? ki Biwi ?B?,

?B? ki Bhabhi ?C?,

?C? ki beti ?V?,

?V? ka dada ?G?

?G? ki biwi ?K?,

?K? ki beti ?T?,

To batao ?A? or ?T? ka kya rishta ha ???

Answer= Husband nd Wife

Birthday Problem

1 aadami apani har birthday pe ek rupiya jama karata hai jab wo 60vi birthday pe khzana todata hai to us mai 15rupaye hoty hain..Q??

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

His birthday comes on 29 Feb.

Life SMS

hhh
Zindagi Main Kuch Khona Pade To Yeh Do Lines Yaad
Rakhna.....!!!!!
"Jo Khoya Hai Us Ka Ghum Nahi!
"Lekin Jo Paaya Hai Wo Kisi Sey Kam Nahi!
Jo Nahi Hai Wo Ek Khawab Hai
Aur
Jo Hai Wo Lajwab Hai........

Ek hi Zamaane k 2 mash-hoor Shaayro ka apna apna Andaaz dekhiye dosto....
Pehle Mirzaa Gaalib:
"Udne de in Parindo ko Azaad fiza main 'Galib'......Jo tere Apne
hongeh wo laut aayenge kisi Roz...!!!"
Shaayar Iqbal reply to Galib~~~
"Na Rakh Umeed-E-Wafa kisi Parinde se 'Iqbal'....
Jab par nikal aatey hain..., to Apne bhi Aashyana bhool jate hai....!!!"

A GOLDEN QUOTE BY RATAN TATA-
I dont believe in taking right decisions..
I take decisions & then make them right.
So always believe in ur ability & efforts..

Never try or beg for support from others..
Stand alone & face d life as a race..
Then everyone will follow u..

Cute, Life quotes, Saying-
Not all fingers r same in length..
But wen they r bend, all stands equal..
Life becomes easy wen we bend & adjust to situation

No one has ever won a game of chess by moving forward alone..
Sometimes u have to move backward to get a better step forward..

Smile increases value of face,
Anger spoils beauty of soul,
Faith is force of life,
Confidence is companion of success,
So keep smiling.

Time is like river..
You can’t touch the same water twice,because the flow that has passed will never pass again..
Enjoy every moment of life..

The best cosmetics in life:
TRUTH: for lips
SYMPATHY: for eyes
PRAYER: Voice
CHARITY: for hands
SMILE: for face &
LOVE: for heart

Somewhere I Heard..
Life is Beautiful..
But Very Soon I Released..
Lots of
Conditions Apply..!!



Someone asked A PHILOSOPHER that..
Who you want to be with for your entire life?
He simply said:
Someone who can understand that I am not perfect.

Life is so confusing..
What we want we dont get..
What we get we r not satisfied..
What we expect never happens and
What we hate generally repeats.
Thats life.

If u wait for happy moments,
u will wait forever.
But if u start believing that u r happy,
u will b happy forever.

Thats life.

WhatsApp Status messages

hemant
My "last seen at" was just to check your "last seen at".

When wrong people leaves your life, right things start happening...

Success is wen signature turns into autograph

 Whatsapp status is loading.............. 

Keep friends close.. and your enemies closer. 

A fake smile can hide a million of tears

Be yourself because everyone else is already taken. 

Dont think to win games always try to participate 

Trust takes years to build and seconds to shatter.

 Nobody is perfect untill you fall in love with them. 

The main reason for divorce is marriage 

Life is too short to spend it with people who don't make you happy 

RESPECT AND TRUST. The two easiest things in life for someone to lose and the hardest things to get back. 

Never apologize for being you. Life is short, why waste in updating Status..

scratch here ▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒ to reveal my status

Don't judge someone's life until you've felt their pain

I'd rather have honest enemies than fake friends.

Sometimes, the wrong choices take us to the right places.

Roses are red, violets are blue. Pull me closer and whisper, 'I love you,'

i dont care if you talk about me behind my back because 

good or bad, my name is still in your mouth

My attitude is based on how you treat me.

The best thing about being me, I’m a limited edition and there are no other copies!

Hey there whatsapp is using me

You can never buy Love....But still you have to pay for it ..

Missing someone hurts, but whats hurts even more, is 

knowing that your the reason that they're 

gone.

My room + internet connection + music + food - homework = perfect day

I need a Google in my mind :) and an Anti-virus in my heart

Let your smile change your life but don't let your life change your smile

RESPECT AND TRUST. The two easiest things in life for someone to lose and the hardest things to get 

back.

Please don't interrupt me while I'm ignoring you

I may not be the Best. But I'm Not like the Rest

More important than what life throws you, is your ability to catch the good stuff and avoid the bad.

Life isn't complicated, people are.

The only people who never fail are those who never try

You will learn that the best experience are made by mistake

Be careful who you open up to.only a few people actually care.the rest are just curious.

Past is experience, Present is experiment, and Future is expectation

Don't regret your past. It's what made you who you are today.

Working for a better tomorrow doesn't mean putting off what's important today.

WhatsApp Status messages

whatsapp best puzzels and jokes

WhatSapp Jokes page 1

whatsapp group of Dhoni

Whatsapp Jokes page 2

Whatsapp Psychological Test

whatsapp Ka Kida- whatsqpp worm


Whatsapp Jokes page3
Now have some jokes:-
Best Alok Nath jokes    Best C.I.D. returns Jokes    Rajinikanth 99 KILLING JOKES Best Kejriwal jokes  Jethalal JOKES     Husband wife awesome jokes  Winners at 59th Idea Filmfare Awards 2013      Girl Friend boy Friend Awesome jokes    Hi-tech salespeople DictionarY   Student Teacher ever best jokes   FriendShip SMS and Quotes
Hansa Praful jokes     Puzzle Messages     Life SMS    WhatsApp Status messages  Sweat Msg on MAA    Seminar of wifes   jokes on Husbands
What's Marriage?(jokes)   Smart kids jokes(god is missing)
Amazing mathematics of life    TV Anchor joke    Best suspense jokes jokes-on-husbands

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Seminar of wifes

Shaadi-shuda Aurto ka seminar chal raha tha.

Unse puchha gaya,

Aapne apne Husband

 ko

‘I Love You’

last kab bola hai?

 Kisi ne kaha aaj,
 kisi ne kaha 2 din pehle
 Aur
 Kisi ne kaha 10 din pehle.

 Fir unse kaha gaya k sab Patniya apne pati ko Mobile se
‘I Love You’ Message karo abhi,
 Jiska sabse accha reply aayega usay
 Surprise Gift
 Milega…

Sab wives ne ‘I Love You’ msg kar diya aur
 .
 Kuchh der baad Husbands k Reply kuchh iss tarah aaye…

1) Darling, tumhari tabiyat to theek hai na?

 2) Ghar kharcha khatam ho gaya hai kya ???

 3) Kahin tum Maiyke to nahin chali gayi ???

 4) Aaj ghar pe khana nahin bana hai kya ???

 5) Kya Matlab ???


 6) Tum Sapne mein ho ya main sapna dekh raha hoon?

 7) Kity party mein kisi ki Jewellery pasand aa gayi hai kya???

 8) Office mein itna tension hai aur tujhe Romance sujh raha hai ???

 9) Kitni baar mana kiya Serial mat dekha kar..!!

 10) Aaj fir gaadi thok-ke aayi kya????

 Finally jisko Surprise Gift
 Mila uska khatarnak reply ye tha....
 .
 . . .
 11) Kaun ???

At Niagara falls..!!
Guide: I welcome you all to Niagara Falls..
These are the world's largest waterfalls & the sound intensity of the
waterfall is so high, even 20 supersonic planes passing by can't be
heard. Now I request the indian ladies to keep quiet so that we can
hear the Niagara Falls...!!
                                   Home

jokes on Husbands

Wife : jaanu, kaash aap msg hote,
main aapko save karti, jab chahe padhti.
husband : kanjoos hee rahiyo,
Save hi karke rakhiyo, apni kisi saheli ko forward na kariyo 


Husband : Kaash main Ganpati hota. Tum roz meri pooja karti, mujhe
laddu khilati, bada mazaa aata.
Wife : Haan, kaash tum Ganpati hote. roz tumko laddu khilati, har saal
visarjan karti, naye Ganpati aate, bada maza aata 


Husbands !!
Husbands !!
Husbands !!
If U advise them, they think U r dominating;
If U don't, U r not doing anything!
If they call,they r missing U;
If U call,U r disturbing them!
If they ask U anything,its their right;
If U ask them,U r interfering!
If they care,they luv U;
If U care,U r possessive
So difficult....hats off to all great wives!!!!!
Enough of jokes on ladies. Now its time for some male bashing
(For a change).

Q: What is the difference between men and puppies?
A: Puppies grow up 


Q: If you drop a man and a brick out of a plane, which one would hit
the ground first? 
A: Who cares??? Just throw them

Q: What did God say after he created man?
A: I can do better than this! And then he created woman!!!  
 🍒🍒🍒🍒🍒🍒🍒

Q: What's the difference between an intelligent man & a UFO ?
A: Dont know, havnt  seen either 



Q: What are two reasons why men don't mind their own business?
 A: i) no mind ii) no business

Q: What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying? 
A: The same urge that makes dogs chase vehicles they have no intention
of driving 

Q: What do you do with a man who thinks he's God's gift? 
A: Exchange him!! 

🍒

Q: Why do men like smart women?
A: Opposites attract! 

 🍒🍒🍒🍒🍒🍒🍒

Pass this on to women who need a laugh and to men who can handle it !

Husband calls his wife in the evening n asks....
Husband: Aaj khaane mein kya pakaya hai?
Wife : Fine long grain white rice hand-picked in the emerald green lap
of the Vindhyas and tender golden lentils that was gently simmered
over the smouldering kisses of angels.served with dollops of fragrant
clarified butter
Husband : WOW...SOUNDS YUMMY??
WHAT IS IT CALLED?
Wife : Khichdi!
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Train me ek Husband apni beautiful wife se jhagda krte huye ..

Tujhse Shaadi karke pachta raha hu , Dil karta hai tujhe kutto ke aage
daal du ..

Saamne wala passenger ..


Bhow , Bhow Bhow , Bhow ..


                                   Home

Smart kids jokes(god is missing)

A couple had two little boys, aged 8 and 10 who were excessively mischievous. They were always getting into trouble and their parents knew that if any mischief occurred in their town, their sons were probably involved. 
The boys' mother heard that a clergyman in town had been successful in disciplining children, so she asked of he would speak with her boys. 
The clergyman agreed, but asked to see them individually. 
So the mother sent her 8-years-old first, in the morning, with the older boy to see the clergyman in the afternoon. 
The clergyman. a huge man with a booming voice sat with the younger boy and asked him sternly, "Where is God?" 
The boys' mouth dropped open but he made no response, sitting there with his mouth hanging open, wide-eyed. 
So the clergyman repeated the question in an even sterner tone, "Where is God?!?" 
Again the boy made no attempt to answer. 
So the clergyman raised his voice even more and pointed his finger in the boy's face and bellowed, "Where is God!?" 
The boy screamed and bolted from the room, ran directly home and dove into his closet, slamming the door behind him. 
When his older brother found him in the closet, he asked, "What happened?" 
The younger brother gasping for breath, replied, "We are in big trouble this time brother. God is missing - and they think we did it


Teacher: What is your mother’s name?
Kid: Kabhi naam nahi puchha,
Bas..
pyar se MAA kehta hu

Nursery ke student ne Exam sheet pe SUSU kar Diya.
Teacher: Ye kya kiya hai?
Student: Mummy ne kaha tha ki Pehle jo aa raha ho wahi karna

Dukandar se Chota Baccha:
Uncle rang gora karne wali Cream hai..
Dukandar: Haan hai..
Baccha: To lagata kyun nahi ,main roz tujhe dekhkar darr jata hu.

Beta- Papa, aap jaise mujhe marte ho, vaise dadaji bhi apko marte the kya?
Papa- Bilkul marte the
Beta- Toh yeh khandani gundagardi kab tak chalegi.



Principal: School ka time 8 baje ka tha or tum 9 baje aa rahe ho?
Little cute Sardar student: Sir tussi na mera intezar na karya karo,
school shuru kar diya karo. 
Laziness rocks:

Boy:mom, pls giv me a glass of water,
mom: u cum & drink.
Boy: pls mom.
Mom: if u repeat, i'll slap u.
Boy: wen u cum to slap me, bring the water.,....

A Cute Sentence Written By A Child On His Maths Book:
"Dear Maths! Please Grow Up & Start Solving Your Problems Yourself..
I Have My own
Mind blowing.......

"KID FAILS IN EXAM"
Father: Aaj Se Mujhe Papa Mat Kehna...!
Son: Oh, come On Dad,
It Was Just A 'School Test'

Not A "DNA" Test...!
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