IIT Bombay funny joke

Why Planning is important?

One Night 4 college students were playing till late night and could not study for the test which was scheduled for the next day.
 
In the morning they thought of a plan. They made themselves look as dirty with grease and dirt. They then went up to the Dean and said that they had gone out to a wedding last night and on their return the tyre of their car burst and they had to push the car all the way back and that they were in no condition to appear for the test.

So the Dean said they could have the re-test after 3 days. They thanked him and said they would be ready by that time.
 
On the third day they appeared before the Dean. The Dean said that as this was a Special Condition Test, all four were required to sit in separate classrooms for the test. They all agreed as they had prepared well in the last 3 days.

The Test consisted of 2 questions with a total of 100 Marks.
 
See Below for the question Paper
 
Q.1. Your Name........ .........
(2 MARKS)
 
 
 Q.2.. Which tyre burst?
(98 MARKS)
 
       a) Front Left          
       b) Front Right
       c) Back Left           
       d) Back Right


 
True story from IIT Bombay ....Batch 1992

Some More  jokes:-

Best Alok Nath jokes    Best C.I.D. returns Jokes    Rajinikanth 99 KILLING JOKES Best Kejriwal jokes  Jethalal JOKES     Husband wife awesome jokes  Winners at 59th Idea Filmfare Awards 2013      Girl Friend boy Friend Awesome jokes    Hi-tech salespeople DictionarY   Student Teacher ever best jokes   FriendShip SMS and Quotes

Hansa Praful jokes     Puzzle Messages     Life SMS    WhatsApp Status messages  Sweat Msg on MAA    Seminar of wifes   jokes on Husbands

What's Marriage?(jokes)   Smart kids jokes(god is missing)

Amazing mathematics of life    TV Anchor joke    Best suspense jokes jokes-on-husbands

अरविन्द केजरीवाल the clever boy jokes

एक बालक जिद पर अड़ गया...
बोला की छिपकली खाऊंगा.
घरवालों ने बहुत समझाया पर नहीं माना !!

हार कर उसके गुरु जी को बुलाया गया।
वे जिद तुड़वाने में महारथी थे..
गुरु के आदेश पर एक छिपकली पकड़वाई गई.
उसे प्लेट में परोस बालक के सामने रख गुरु बोले,
ले खा...
बालक मचल गया..
बोला,
तली हुई खाऊंगा..
गुरु ने छिपकली तलवाई और दहाड़े,
ले अब चुपचाप खा.
बालक फिर गुलाटी मार गया
और बोला,



आधी खाऊंगा..
छिपकली के दो टुकड़े किये गये.. बालक गुरु से बोला,
पहले आप खाओ.
गुरु ने आंख नाक भींच कर किसी तरह आधी छिपकली निगली...
गुरु के छिपकली निगलते ही बालक दहाड़ मार कर रोने लगा की आप तो वो टुकड़ा खा गये जो मैंने खाना था.. गुरु ने धोती सम्भाली और वहां से भाग निकले की अब जरा भी यहां रुका तो ये दुष्ट दूसरा टुकड़ा भी खिला कर मानेगा...

करना-धरना कुछ नहीं,
नौटंकी दुनिया भर की...

बालक का नाम--अरविन्द केजरीवाल

Read more latest jokes 

BIHAR DRIVING LICENSE FORM:

BIHAR DRIVING LICENSE FORM:
 📋

DRAIVING LAICENSE
APPLIKASON PHARM:

Note: Please do nat soot the person at the applikason kounter. He bill gib you license..


For phurthar instruction,
see botom pharm.



(Please check karrect opson.)

1. Last Name:
◻ Sinha
◻ Pandey
◻ Misra
◻ Yadav
◻ Dont knowing

2. Phirst Name:
◻ Ramprasad
◻ Lallan
◻ Sivprasad
◻ Jamnaprasad
◻ Dont knowing

3. Age:
◻ Less than phipty
◻ Greater than phipty
◻ Dont knowing

4. Sex:
◻ M
◻ F
◻ Nat Sure
◻ Nat Applicabul

5. Chappal Size:
Lepht: ◻     Right: ◻

6. Occupasun:
◻ Palitisan
◻ Dhoodhwaala
◻ Pehelwan
◻ Hause Waife
◻ Nat know
◻ Unemployed

7. Number af children
in Hause:
◻ 5
◻ 10
◻ more than 10

8. Number of childrens that is yours: ◻

9. Maadar Name:

10. Phather Name (If not know, leave blank)

11. Ejjucashun : 1 2 3 4 (Circle () on highest grade)

12. Dental rekard: 😬
(_) Ellow
(_) Berownish-ellow
(_) Berown
(_) Belack
(_) Other -__________ Give egjhakt color
(Check karet box)

13.Your thumb imparesson : ____________________________ (** If you are copying from another applikason pharom, please do not copy thumb impression also. Please provide your own thumb impression .)

PELEASE DO NOT USE PHINGERS OF YOUR LEGS

Use thumb on your lepht hand only. If you dont have lepht hand, use your thumb on right hand. If you do not have right hand, use thumb on lepht hand.

NOTE : IF YOU DONT HAVE BOTH HANDS, YOU CANNOT DRIVE. WE ARE VARY ISTRICT ABOUT THIS.

Read more latest jokes 

Bachpan wala vo "Ravivar"

Bachpan wala vo "Ravivar" ab nahi aata

Dost pe ab vo pyar nahi aata

Jab vo kahta tha to nikl padte the bina ghadi dekhe

Ab ghadi me vo samay aur vo vaar nahi aata

Bachpan wala vo "Ravivar" ab nahi aata

Vo bycicle ab bhi muze yaad hai jispe main uske pichhe baith k khush
ho jaya karta tha

Ab uski car me bhi aaram nahi aata

Jeevan ki raaho me aisi ulzi hai gutthiyan

Uske Ghar k samne se gujar k bhi uss se milna nahi ho pata

Vo Mogli, Vo Uncle Scrooz, Ye Jo hai Zindagi, Surabhi,  Rangoli aur Vo
Chitrahar ab nahi aata

Ramayan, Mahabharat, Chanakya Ka vo chaav ab nahi aata

Bachpan wala vo  "Ravivar" ab nahi aata


Ab har war Somwar hai,

Kaam, Office, Boss, Biwi, Bachche

Bas yahi zindgi hai

Dost se Dil ki baat ka izhar nahi ho pata

Bachpan wala vo  "Ravivar" ab nahi aata

Bachpan wala vo  "Ravivar" ab nahi aata


Some More  jokes:-
Best Alok Nath jokes    Best C.I.D. returns Jokes    Rajinikanth 99 KILLING JOKES Best Kejriwal jokes  Jethalal JOKES     Husband wife awesome jokes  Winners at 59th Idea Filmfare Awards 2013      Girl Friend boy Friend Awesome jokes    Hi-tech salespeople DictionarY   Student Teacher ever best jokes   FriendShip SMS and Quotes
Hansa Praful jokes     Puzzle Messages     Life SMS    WhatsApp Status messages  Sweat Msg on MAA    Seminar of wifes   jokes on Husbands
What's Marriage?(jokes)   Smart kids jokes(god is missing)
Amazing mathematics of life    TV Anchor joke    Best suspense jokes jokes-on-husbands

Husband wife awesome jokes

Wife entered bed room and found hubby asleep on his files, tired of
work. Walked closer to him, played with his hair softly, sweetly
and............ * PHATTTAKK* slapped his face... and said; "last seen
on whatsapp 1 minute ago" 😛


Why husbands avoid questions!

 WIFE:
 What would you do if i died?
 Would you get married again?
 Husband:
 No...
 Wife-
 Why not?
 Don't you like being married?
 Husband:
 Of course i do.
 Wife:
 Then why wouldn't you remarry?
 Husband:
 Ok, ok, i'd get married again...
 Wife:
 Would you live in our house with your
 new Wife...?
 Husband:
 Yes, it's a great house.
 Wife:
 Would you let her drive my car ?
 Husband:
 Yes, its almost new, dear .
 Wife:
 Would you give her my jewelry?
 Husband:
 No..
 I am sure she would want her own..
 Wife:
 Would she wear my shoes..?
 Husband:
 No, her size is '5'
 Wife:
 silence!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 Husband:
 'Shiiit'...!!!

A sindhis wife was expecting & the baby was due any day.
Sindhi was very confident it would be a boy & was looking 4wd
to the
delivery day.
As fate would have it, he was transferred to another city & had
to go
immediately.
B4 going, he asked his father-in-law to send a telegram
confirming the
birth of his son.
But in order to avoid giving a party to his office
colleagues,he asks
his father -in-law to write "the clock has arrived" & he will
understand that the son is born.
The D-day arrived. His wife delivered a cute little baby girl.
Now Sindhi's father-in-law didn't know wot to do.If he
writes"the
clock has arrived" My son in law will think he has a son.
If he writes"the clock has not arrived",d son in law will get
worried
tht something serious has happened.
Being a very intelligent person,he finds a solution & sends the
telegram
Just read below, u will love it...
Son in law received the telegram,opened it eagerly & reads...
"The clock has arrived, but the pendulum' is missing"?..


BEIZATI aur BIWI ajeeb cheez hoti hai gaur farmaye
BEIZATI aur BIWI ajeeb cheez hoti hai
.
.
.
.
.
Acchhi tabhi lagti hai jab dusre ki hoti hai.:D

Wife:"Mehman aa rahe hain or ghar me Daal k siva kuch nai .

Husband:"Jab wo aaye to kitchen me 1 bartan girana,

Me pochu to kehna KORMA gir gaya.. .

Phir dosra bartan girana, kehna BiRYANi gir gai..

fir Me kahuga chalo Daal hi le aao...:p

Mehmano k aane k bad Bartan girne ki awaaz aai.. .

Husbnd:"Kya hua.. ??

.

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.

.

.

.

Wife: Daal hi gir gai ..

Some More  jokes:-
Best Alok Nath jokes    Best C.I.D. returns Jokes    Rajinikanth 99 KILLING JOKES Best Kejriwal jokes  Jethalal JOKES     Husband wife awesome jokes  Winners at 59th Idea Filmfare Awards 2013      Girl Friend boy Friend Awesome jokes    Hi-tech salespeople DictionarY   Student Teacher ever best jokes   FriendShip SMS and Quotes
Hansa Praful jokes     Puzzle Messages     Life SMS    WhatsApp Status messages  Sweat Msg on MAA    Seminar of wifes   jokes on Husbands
What's Marriage?(jokes)   Smart kids jokes(god is missing)
Amazing mathematics of life    TV Anchor joke    Best suspense jokes jokes-on-husbands

Hi-tech salespeople Dictionary and salesmen jokes.

Hemant
A traveling salesman was held up by a bad storm in the Hawaiian Islands. He sent an e-mail to his corporate headquarters advising them that he was stranded for a few days and requested instructions.The reply came back shortly: "Begin vacation as of yesterday."

The Dictionary: What hi-tech salespeople say and what they mean by it:

1. New: Different color from previous design. 

2. All New: Parts not interchangeable with previous design.

3. Designed Simplicity: Manufacturer's cost cut to the bone.

4. Unmatched: Almost as good as the competition. 

5. Foolproof Operation: No provision for adjustments. 

6. Advanced Design: The advertising agency does not understand it. 

7. Field-tested: Manufacturer lacks test equipment. 

8. Direct Sales Only: Factory had big argument with distributor. 

9. Years of Development: We finally got one that works. 

10. Revolutionary: It's different from our competitors. 

11. Breakthrough: We finally figured out a way to sell it. 

12. Improved: Did not work the first time. 

13. Futuristic: No other reason why it looks the way it does. 

14. Distinctive: A different shape and color than the others. 

15. Redesigned: Previous faults corrected, we hope. 

16. Handcrafted: Assembly machines operated without gloves on. 

17. Performance Proven: Will operate through the warranty period. 

18. Meets all Standards: Ours - not yours. 

19. Broadcast Quality: Gives a picture and produces noise. 

20. High Reliability: We made it work long enough to ship it. 

21. New Generation: Old design failed; maybe this one will work. 

22. Unprecedented Performance: Nothing we ever had before worked this way. 

23. Built to Precision Tolerances: We finally got it to fit together. 

24. Microprocessor Controlled: Does things we can't explain.


"Is your mother home?" the salesman asked a small boy sitting on the steps in front of a house. "Yeah, shes home," the boy said, scooting over to let him past. The salesman rang the doorbell, got no response, knocked once, then again. Still no one came to the door. Turning to the boy, the fellow said, "I thought you said your mother was home." The kid replied, "She is; but this isnt where I live.

A salesman who was out on his territory had a heart attack in his motel room and died. The motel manager called the salesmans company and related the tragedy to the sales manager.The sales manager received the news in a nonchalant manner and told the motel manager, "Return his samples by freight and search his pants for orders."

FriendShip SMS and Quotes.

hemant

Once I had to walk on a bridge. It was very high and I got scared. 
I saw a close friend on the other side, and called him for help, 

But he didn't come, Somehow I managed and crossed the bridge.
There...I saw him holding the end of the broken bridge..!

Sometimes we think why Friends are keeping quiet, 
He/She may not help you to cross the bridge... But he or she might be holding the broken
bridge for you ..!!

That's a Friend........pass it to all those friends who have been your
silent support

Don't walk behind me; I may not lead. Don't walk in front of me; I may not follow. Just walk beside me and be my friend.
Albert Camus 

Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you 
want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo  breaks down.
Oprah Winfrey 

When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives means 
the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a warm and tender hand.
Henri Nouwen 

A friend is someone who gives you total freedom to be yourself.
Jim Morrison 

Never explain - your friends do not need it and your enemies will not believe you anyway.
Elbert Hubbard 

I don't need a friend who changes when I change and who nods when I nod; my shadow does that much better.
Plutarch 



There is some self-interest behind every friendship. There is no friendship without self-interests. This is a bitter truth.
Chanakya

Silences make the real conversations between friends. Not the saying but the never needing to say is what counts.
Margaret Lee Runbeck 

The best time to make friends is before you need them.
Ethel Barrymore 


Yesterday i named my Wifi ” hack if you can ”
.
.
.
Today when i woke up it was changed to
“challenge accepted”

Me: Dad can I have 50Rs?
Dad: 40Rs? What do you need 30Rs for?
 20Rs is more than enough!
 Here’s 10Rs now give your brother half…

I love photography because it’s the only hobby where i 
can shoot people and cut their heads off, without going to jail…

Rajinikanth 99 KILLING JOKES

hemant

1. Rajinikanth killed the Dead Sea. 

2. When Rajinikanth does push-ups, he isn't lifting himself up. He is pushing the earth down. 

3. There is no such thing as evolution, it's just a list of creatures that Rajinikanth allowed to live. 

4. Rajinikanth gave Mona Lisa that smile. 


5 .Rajnikanth can divide by zero. 

6. Rajinikanth can judge a book by it's cover. 

7. Rajinikanth can drown a fish. 

8. Rajinikanth can delete the Recycle Bin. 

9. Rajinikanth once got into a fight with a VCR player. Now it plays DVDs. 

10. Rajinikanth can slam a revolving door. 

11. Rajinikanth once kicked a horse in the chin. Its descendants are today called giraffes. 

12. Rajinikanth once ordered a plate of idli in McDonald's, and got it. 

13. Rajinikanth can win at Solitaire with only 18 cards. 

14. The Bermuda Triangle used to be the Bermuda Square, until Rajinikanth kicked one of the corners off. 

15. Rajinikanth can build a snowman out of rain. 


16. Rajinikanth can strangle you with a cordless phone. 

17. Rajinikanth can make onions cry. 

18. Rajinikanth destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise. 

19. Rajinikanth can watch the show 60 minutes in 20 minutes. 

20. Rajinikanth has counted to infinity, twice. 

21. Rajinikanth will attain separate statehood in 2013. 

22. Rajinikanth did in fact, build Rome in a day. 

23. Rajinikanth once got into a knife-fight. The knife lost. 

24. Rajinikanth can play the violin with a piano. 

25. Rajinikanth never wet his bed as a child. The bed wet itself in fear. 

26. The only man who ever outsmarted Rajinikanth was Stephen Hawking, and he got what he deserved. 

27. Rajinikanth can talk about Fight Club. 

28. Rajinikanth doesn't breathe. Air hides in his lungs for protection. 

29. There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq. Rajinikanth lives in Chennai. 

30. Rajinikanth kills Harry Potter in the eighth book. 

31. Rajinikanth does not own a stove, oven, or microwave, because revenge is a dish best served cold. 

32. Rajinikanth has already been to Mars, that's why there are no signs of life there. 

33. Rajinikanth doesn't move at the speed of light. Light moves at the speed of Rajinikanth. 

34. Rajinikanth knows Victoria's secret. 

35. Water boils faster when Rajinikanth stares at it. 

36. Rajinikanth can throw the Thackerays out of Mumbai. 

37. Rajinikanth kills two stones with one bird. 

38. Google won't find Rajinikanth because you don't find Rajinikanth; Rajinikanth finds you. 

39. Rajinikanth gave the Joker those scars. 

40. Rajinikanth leaves messages before the beep. 

41. Rajinikanth once warned a young girl to be good "or else". The result? Mother Teresa. 

42. Rajinikant electrocuted Iron Man. 

43. Rajinikanth killed Spiderman using Baygon Anti Bug Spray. 

44. Rajinikanth can make PCs better than the Mac. 

45. Rajinikanth puts the 'laughter' in manslaughter. 

46. Rajinikanth goes to court and sentences the judge. 

47. Rajinikanth can handle the truth. 

48. Rajinikanth can speak Braille. 

49. Rajinikanth can dodge Chuck Norris' roundhouse kicks. 

50. Rajinikanth can teach an old dog new tricks. 

51. Rajinikanth calls Voldemort by his name. 

52. Who do you think taught Voldemort Parseltongue? Rajinikanth did. 

53. Chuck Norris once met Rajinikanth. The result - He was reduced to a joke on the internet. 

54. Rajinikanth got small pox when he was a kid. As a result small pox is now eradicated. 

55. Rajinikanth’s calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd, no one fools Rajanikanth. 



56. Rajinikanth grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage. 

57. The last time Rajinikanth killed someone, he slapped himself to do it. The other guy just disintegrated. Resonance. 

58. Rajinikanth once had a heart attack. His heart lost. 

59. Rajinikant is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head. 

60. Rajinikanth can run at speed of light around a tree and screw himself. 

61.Rajinikant can lick his elbows. 

62. Rajinikant once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink. 

63. Rajinikant does not get frostbite. Rajnikant bites frost. 

64. Rajinikant doesn’t wear a watch. He decides what time it is. 

65. Rajinikant got his drivers license at the age of 16 seconds. 

66. When you say “no one is perfect”, Rajinikant takes this as a personal insult. 

67. In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Rajinikanth could use to kill you, including the room itself. 

68. Words like awesomeness, brilliance, legendary etc. were added to the dictionary in the year 1949. That was the year Rajinikanth was born. 

69. The statement "nobody can cheat death", is a personal insult to Rajnikanth. Rajni cheats and fools death everyday. 

70. When Rajnikanth is asked to kill some one he doesn't know, he shoots the bullet and directs it the day he finds out. 

71. Rajinikant can give pain to Painkillers and headache to Anacin. 

72. Rajinikanth knows what women really want. 



73. Time and tide wait for Rajinikanth. 

74. Rajinikanth sneezed only once in his entire life, that's when the tsunami occurred in the Indian ocean. 

75. As a child when Rajinikanth had dyslexia, he simply re-scripted the alphabet. 

76. Rajinikanth collects Honey from his private Moon - HoneyMoon. 

77. Rajinikanth can answer a missed call. 

78. Rajinikanth doesn't need a visa to travel abroad, he just jumps from the tallest building in Chennai and holds himself in the air while the earth rotates. 

79. Rajinikanth's brain works faster than Chacha Chaudhury's. 

80. Rajinikanth doesn't shower. He only takes blood baths. 

81. To be or not to be? That is the question. The answer? Rajinikanth. 

82. The quickest way to a man's heart is with Rajinikanth's fist. 

83. Where there is a will, there is a way. Where there is Rajinikanth, there is no other way. 

84. Rajinikanth's every step creates a mini whirlwind. Hurricane Katrina was the result of a morning jog. 

85. Rajinikant doesn’t bowl strikes, he just knocks down one pin and the other nine faint out of fear. 

86. Archaeologists unearthed an old English dictionary dating back to the year 1236. It defined “victim” as “one who has encountered Rajinikant”. 

87. There is no such thing as global warming. Rajinikanth was feeling cold, so brought the sun closer to heat the earth up. 

88. Once a cobra bit Rajinikanth' leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died. 

89. Rajinikanth is a champion in the game "Hide n' seek", as no one can hide from Rajinikanth. 

90. Rajinikant proves Newton wrong all the time. Every time he performs an action, he simply eliminates anything and everything that can provide the reaction. 

91. Rajinikant is a weapon created by God to use on doomsday to end the world. 

92. Aliens do indeed exist. They just know better than to visit a planet that Rajinikanth is on. 

93. We live in an expanding universe. All of it is trying to get away from Rajinikanth. 

94. If at first you don't succeed, you're not Rajinikanth. 

95. Rajinikanth's first job was as a bus conductor. There were no survivors. 

96. Rajinikanth does not style his hair. It lays perfectly in place out of sheer terror. 

97. When Rajinikanth plays Monopoly, it affects the actual world economy. 

98. Rajinikanth is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis. 

99. Rajinikanth's house has no doors, only walls that he walks through.

Puzzle Messages and jokes.

k
k

LOOK 30 SEC ON X MARK INT THE EYE OF SKULL AND THEN LOOK AT THE WALL OF SHEET OF PAPER

COMMENT IF YOU FINDS A SKULL AND ALSO CHECK BY INCREASING DISTANCE



This puzzle is called Lateral Thinking.. Just Check It Out!

Scroll down slowly and be honest to yourself. Think like a wizard;
      man
1. ------------
     board


Ans. =man overboard

Okay, let's see if you've got the hang of it.

      stand
2. ------------
        i


Ans. = I understand

OK . .Got the drift ?Let's try a few now and see how you fare ?

3. /r/e/a/d/i/n/g/


Ans. = reading between the lines

      R
4. Road
      A
      D



Ans. = cross road

Not having a good day now, are you ?Redeem yourself.

5. cyclecyclecycle

Ans. = tricycle
Easy to figure out, ha!


          0
6._________
    M.D.Ph.D.

Ans. = two degrees below zero

C'mon give it a little thought ! !


      knee
7. ------------
      light




Ans. = neon light ( knee - on - light )

I'm sure you'll have no problem getting this one.

    ground
8. ----- ----------
feet feet feet feet feet feet




Ans. = six feet underground

Good One, try this!!

9. he's / himself




Ans. = he's by himself

Here's an easy one!!

10. ecnalg




Ans. = backward glance

Not even close ?!!?

11. death ..... life




Ans. = life after death

Okay last chance .

12. THINK





Ans. = think big ! !

And the last one is very funny- - -


13. Ababaaabbbbaaaabbbbababaabbaaabbbb..

.

Long time no C

What is black when you buy it,

Red when you are using it,

And grey when you throw it away?

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.

Answer is : Charcoal

?A? ki Biwi ?B?,

?B? ki Bhabhi ?C?,

?C? ki beti ?V?,

?V? ka dada ?G?

?G? ki biwi ?K?,

?K? ki beti ?T?,

To batao ?A? or ?T? ka kya rishta ha ???

Answer= Husband nd Wife

Birthday Problem

1 aadami apani har birthday pe ek rupiya jama karata hai jab wo 60vi birthday pe khzana todata hai to us mai 15rupaye hoty hain..Q??

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His birthday comes on 29 Feb.